Because the pastor of the church had not firm beliefs, in the late 1980s I decided that Christianity wasn’t real or was whatever you wanted it to be. I continued to attend church off and on at various different churches over the years. In the mid to late 1990s I went into my “dark times”. Looking back on it, I’m pretty confident I was depressed, but it was never diagnosed. Everything seems dim as if it was in shadow. No real change of mind during decade. I still didn’t believe and moved even farther away from the church.